I Just Can’t Imagine It…On the Loss of a Baby

No footprint is to small to leave its impact on the world

No footprint is to small to leave its impact on the world

I JUST CAN’T IMAGINE IT…I’VE TRIED BUT I CAN’T!

I have three teenage children and life is often chaotic, but I wouldn’t be without them – even on the worst of days. And whilst, like many of us, we have had our fair share of tragedy, we are all still here.

But really I can’t begin to imagine what it is like for the mother, carrying her baby for so long, to lose this little one. And what it must be like for dad, or grandparents, or family and friends.

To be confronted with the loss of a fragile little life seems cruel; no, it is cruel. And as much as I try, I can’t put myself in that place.

But I can imagine the treatment I would want from the health professionals around me in a situation like this. I want medical competence, of course. But I want understanding and compassion and sensitivity and care.

This is a big ask anywhere. Who is up to such a task?

Well, I received a most moving letter from someone whose daughter had just lost a baby and was care for on Lavender Unit at Worcestershire Royal Hospital. Did they receive such treatment? READ ON:

“I am writing to you as I note you wish to hear of the wonderful work done at the hospital.

My daughter was cared for over six days whilst she sadly suffered a late miscarriage on Lavender Ward recently.

Every single member of staff we encountered was outstanding in their dedication to their very difficult work. Not only do such circumstances demand the highest level of medical care, but also a clear understand of very complex emotions.

Firstly, the cleaners. They were just so lovely as they unobtrusively appeared and kept [N’s] room beautiful- their level of attention to detail and kindness was wonderful.
Then the Health Care Assistants- so discreet and careful as they made sure my daughter was comfortable and was eating enough to keep her energy up.

And the doctors and consultants, of whom there were many, and yet the consistency of approach and continuity of care was outstanding. Their skills and compassion created an atmosphere of confidence and most certainly diminished my daughter’s most extreme fears.

And, of course, the nurses. I lost count of how often I saw them work beyond their designated shift times to ensure [N’s] wellbeing. Their clear knowledge and understanding of her circumstances, and their swift action at the most difficult times exemplified the very best of human endeavour.

Not only that, but everyone working on the ward showed such care and concern for me and for my daughter’s partner.

Since her discharge, I would also like to pay tribute to the Bereavement Services from the Hospital who visited [N] and her partner at home. Their visit coincided with a very hard period for her – one of those days when it is easy to be overwhelmed by sadness and loss. The visit visibly lifted both of them, allowing them to express their deepest thoughts and to receive exactly the right comfort to sustain them as they adjust to their lives.

I have written to the ward, but saw your request on the website. It’s so important, especially in our negative media-led times not to overlook the everyday work of the highest levels of professionalism which goes on in our Hospitals.”

[Name and Address Supplied]

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5 responses to “I Just Can’t Imagine It…On the Loss of a Baby

  1. How nice to see all the staff from cleaners upwards thanked for the care of this lady’s daughter and her partner.

  2. I have experienced this very sad situation from both sides. It was many years ago but the abiding memory that I have is the cleaner Irene coming in to sweep the floor and finding me crying. She downed her tools and gave me a big tight hug that lasted forever. Once I had composed myself she picked up her broom and left all without saying a word. I felt her love and support and knew that I was cared for

  3. It is really tremendous to read such a story. It shows the huge improvements made by the NHS to encourage such an atmosphere. Well done to everyone. 50 years ago there was nothing as I am sure many others will verify and will therefore with me be so pleased to see what happens today.

  4. Dear David what a lovely heart warming and deeply moving letter makes it all worth while – you will of course know of the group started by Andrew and now continuing to be supported by dear David which provides compassionate support and mutual encouragement for so many others who have passed through their own dark tunnel of grief and loss – I just wish such a group had been there for Hilary and myself when prematurely we lost our second baby all those many hyears ago when I was in Aberystwyth Theological College. So many things have happened since then including the coming of our three boys nlow well grown up but when meeting with the group in Redditch on the 2nd Mon day evening I was amazed to find that there was still that sacred special spot in my heart for the child we lost all those years ago God bless you David for all that you are doing for the uplifting and encouraging morale boosting of our fine overworked and sometimes undervalued committed staff in the three sites Yes God bless you David -you & Alison, Susi,Ashley,& Charlie are in my daily prayers Yours in Him Bill Miles ————-

  5. As someone who has been exactly where this family was, I could resonate with every word. We too had amazing support, care and compassion from everyone we encountered at the Worcestershire Royal Hospital when Frankie was born sleeping. The Fay Turner Suite was a godsend and everyone without exception looked after us so well. We couldn’t have coped or got through it without you all and we are so lucky here in the UK to have the NHS which is the envy of many countries in the world.

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